Uncomfortable Conversations

I was mindlessly scrolling through Instagram yesterday, trying to give my mind a break from current events and the news for a few minutes. There was a post that stopped me mid-scroll. It was Dwayne Reed, a teacher in Chicago Public Schools, posted “Don’t, ‘I have a dream’ your students later this month if you’re not willing to discuss the nightmares many of them are living through today.”

This made me stop and think deeply for a minute. I’d be willing to bet that 90% or more of teachers, particularly in elementary and middle schools, discuss Martin Luther King Jr. and his iconic “I Have a Dream” speech. Typically, about a week before January 18th, Martin Luther King Jr. day, teachers pay homage to the civil rights activist. They want students to know who MLK was and why we get a day off from school to honor him. Let me be clear. There is nothing wrong with that. The issue lies in the 2nd half of the Instagram post I mentioned.

Many of these same teachers that talk about MLK and his famous speech, are not talking about the events of last week to their classes. Talking to kids about our country’s history of racial segregation and a man who fought to change racist laws is easy. Talking to kids about our country’s current racist policies and systemic targeting, albeit unofficial, is hard. Having a class of 25 ten year-olds in front of you and talking to them about current events, in particular the racial divide that we have seen widening over the last 4 years, is hard. Often we label this as an “uncomfortable conversation”. When it’s a class of white children, it’s uncomfortable. When it’s a class of black and brown children, it’s painful. How can you explain to kids, especially students of color, that oftentimes the same rules don’t apply to them? That if they were white, many people would treat them differently? And I know that some people would disagree with that statement, but as a black man, who was once a black boy, I know it to be true because I lived it and continue to live it every day.

I can only imagine how teachers feel. Being a teacher is always tough. I can’t even think how hard it is today. With current politics, racial inequities, the pandemic, hybrid/virtual/in-person learning, teachers have so much put on them. So many responsibilities. So much stress. So much heartache. At the same time, teachers are fortunate to have the greatest impact of all. Teachers have the opportunity to mold young minds every day. This couldn’t be more important than it is now.

I struggle with having these conversations with kids. As a black man in education, I find it really hard to talk to kids about the double standard that exists and what’s going on in the news. If I find it hard, I can’t even imagine how it feels for teachers who haven’t personally had to deal with the injustices of being black or brown. These conversations are probably not going to get any easier, but that’s exactly why they are so important. We all need, myself included, to get comfortable having uncomfortable conversations. Uncomfortable, and even painful, conversations are important and the only conversations that will create real change. I’m asking everyone, especially educators and youth workers, please be willing to dig deep within yourselves. Have these conversations with your students. I know it can be a hard and sensitive topic, but that’s why you need to do it. Don’t let the only information your students consume come from social media. Just like you teach them about reading strategies and multiplication, teach them about what’s happening every day, and help them process these events and feelings. Invite them to participate in the conversation and express their own opinions and feelings. This is your moment to be an ally. When they talk to you about what it’s like to be a black or brown child today, please validate their feelings and listen.

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